So, I bet you are dying to hear the story of the false prophet I mentioned in the last post. I mean, BOTH of you have probably been sitting on the edge of your seat all day and night.
I am on the road, meaning: when I am not working, I look for cheap clean entertainment. Near the hotel there was a high school with all the lights on. I heard the “Star Spangled Banner” and thought “football” and made a beeline for the field. Cheap clean fun.
It WAS a football game, but not the kind of football I was hoping for–high school boys soccer.
Fast forward to the first half where the score was still 0-0.
An older man standing next to the grandstands (4 rows) strikes up a conversation:
“See this scar? I had three vertebrae removed and they put in one solid piece instead of the three neck bones they took out. I have them in a mason jar. At home. Where I live. Alone.”
“Is that so?”
“Yeah, it’s not something I like to tell people but it happened and I can’t change that.”
“That’s what I was thinking.”
LATER: 25 mins left in the second half. Oh and we have been talking this whole time.
“Are you religious?”
“A little.”
“Do you want to hear something that will blow your mind?”
“OOOOOOH, YES!”
“How many children did God have?”
“You mean like All of us?”
“No I mean literal offspring.”
“Oh. One?”
“Nope, Two.”
He then related a string of scriptures to me that prove that God had another son. (I’m not going to quote the references, because he might search the internet for the references and find this blog and put a curse on me later.) The scriptures say, in effect, “Person X, thou art my firstborn.” Person X had also been a bad person and then repented and then died and gone to heaven and then been cast out of heaven. And blah blah blah.
Then he said, “And just before you leave tonight I’m going to tell you how I know this.”
“Kinda like the payoff or epilogue?” OK so I didn’t really say this, but I wanted to.
So, like the curious fellow I am, I was waiting with bated breath and on the edge of my seat to find out how he knew such a fact.
LATER: 05 secs left in the game. Visiting team ahead 3-2.
“So, do you want to know how I know?”
“Absolutely.”
“Because he’s me. I was sent back to straighten up and try again.”
ICK! “So you are saying you are the BEGOTTEN son of God?”
“I’m the ELDER begotten son of God.”
“OK then, I have to go. Drive home safe.”
“Oh I BETTER be safe, I’m the visiting school bus driver.”
Yeah, I’m a-calling the school district tomorrow.
Note to GUY: Real prophets inspire you to do something with your new knowledge. They make you want to be a better person. They do NOT wait until it’s time to part company and then tell you they are a prophet just for the gee-whiz value. They don’t tell you they are a prophet usually, they just are and they make you want something more. Just so you know.